Transforming Suffering and Happiness

In this two-part blog post series, I will discuss some of the concepts I learned over a two-day retreat I recently attended to hear Khentrul Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist, speak about transforming suffering and happiness.

It was during the first day there, Rinpoche said the above quoted phrase and I remember how powerful it felt, not only to me, but also to the audience.

Take a few minutes to think about this quote and your perception of its meaning.

The basic concept of the quote is that it is not the situation (the stone) that causes our suffering but our mind’s perception of it that causes our suffering. I am familiar with the concept although I cannot ever recall hearing it articulated in such a way as Rinpoche described it that day.

Rinpoche went on to discuss how our minds can be our worst antagonist and our biggest troublemaker.

Visualize a microscope. If you were to slide a dust particle under that microscope and examined it, that dust particle would appear magnified to the point that it would be massive in comparison to its original state.

Throughout our lives, our mind works like that of a microscope. Although it is not examining dust particles, it examines our situations and magnifies them exponentially. Think about a recent breakup or any incident that has caused you some heartache or suffering. Did it feel like the worst thing in the world?

When going through that heartache, how long did you allow it to linger within you?

Rinpoche noted that our own minds create the vast majority of our suffering. He termed it as “fake suffering,” a made up suffering our minds cause us to experience. He went on to say as we continue to focus on that “imaginary suffering,” our minds will create new problems.

During times of suffering, Rinpoche further discusses how we need to cultivate positivity from that pain; otherwise, if we continue to reinforce that imaginary pain, that habit becomes our mind’s new perception and we will continue to cause ourselves more suffering as we move through life.

It is a hard concept to want to accept because I can think of a family member who constantly reinforces the habit of suffering to the point where, in my opinion, it has become her identity. It is her mind’s perception towards the majority of situations she experiences.

Once that habit settles in and becomes a behavior, it can be extremely hard to change unless you are fully aware of it and make a conscious effort and commitment to change it.

Does this mean it is possible to stop ourselves from ever experiencing pain?

No, I don’t think so.

I think pain is just a natural part of life. However, as Rinpoche describes in his teachings, suffering is optional. Instead of letting that suffering manifest in your mind in to something worse, find that positivity within to learn and grow.

Now it’s your turn.

How does this quote inspire you?

Contact me or share your thoughts below in the Comments section.

Let’s get the discussion going.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Together we can become stronger individuals.