Have you ever tried to change someone in to who you wanted them to be?

Were you ever in love with the potential you saw in someone as opposed to the actual person?

Have you ever tried to “fix” someone in your relationship?

Take a minute and look at your relationships, both past and current. Have you ever thought at any point, “Oh it will get better” or “They will change” or “I can help them become a better person” or “I can help them break those bad habits” or whatever it may have been.

It is so important when entering a new relationship, as well as maintaining your current relationships that we love each person as they are. The minute you try to change someone based on your desired mold is the moment you stop loving them for them. Your love is no longer authentic.

Relationships are supposed to enhance us and enhance our lives. However, when we try to change other people in an attempt to meet our unfulfilled wants and needs what happens?

Feelings of resentment, anger, frustration, disappointment sneak up on you and slap you in the face.

Does this resonate with you? Can you recall a time when perhaps you experienced this?

We all want to find someone whom we connect with and can share our life experience. However, it can be tough when we meet someone that we really like but then realize they are not compatible with us after all. Instead of moving on, we attempt to change and manipulate as opposed to accepting reality as it is.

So if you are with someone that you absolutely adore but you don’t necessarily like a certain behavior they have or the way they act or treat you at times, it’s your responsibility to speak up for yourself and let them know.

A great way to go about this is with open and honest conversation. I know for myself, I can’t read anyone’s mind. I’m assuming you can’t either.

Having an open and honest conversation about what is making you feel uncomfortable without blame or harshness allows the space for the other to hear where you are coming from.

Based on that conversation, you can both decide whether the juice is worth the squeeze in terms of making the relationship work. Relationships are about teamwork. They are about compromise, not sacrifice. They are never about making one person adhere to the other person’s rules.

It’s not your job or responsibility to change or fix anyone based on what you believe or how you think they should be or how you want them to be. Love is a choice. If you cannot accept someone for who they are in the present moment then it is best to go your separate ways.

Focus on growing together as a couple because if you are not growing together you are growing apart.

Now it’s your turn.

How does this quote inspire you?

Tell me about an experience where you wanted the person you were in a relationship with to be something they were not. What was it about them that you wanted to change?

Were they like this when you met them? Did you purposely overlook certain aspects, qualities, or characteristics in hopes that they would change in the future?

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Contact me or share your thoughts below in the Comments section.

Let’s get the discussion going.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Together we can become stronger individuals.

Educate. Engage. Evolve.