Taking Things Too Personally

Do you take a person’s opinions or reactions too personally?

Do you allow it to affect how you feel and how you respond?

Are you unable to recognize and control your emotions when triggered by someone else’s actions?

Think about your interactions with the people in your life and if you allow yourself to get distraught by what they do or say. If you do, what are the specific triggers that set you off in a tail spin unable to regain control of your balance.

Often times we allow other peoples’ opinions, reactions, and behaviors to affect us in such a way that it totally messes with our emotional state. When we allow this to occur, it is extremely hard to act rationally to the situation at that moment. It has our minds racing and our hearts hurting. This is especially true when it comes to our intimate relationships.

Whether we are dating, just starting out in a new relationship, or have been with our partner for years, taking things too personally is sure to cause both internal conflict, as well as conflict with the person triggering our emotions.

When we allow this to happen, what usually goes unrealized is the recognition that everyone has his or her own map of the world. Just as do you, they have their own personal view and perception of how things should work unique to them. It’s not right or wrong, it just is. We were all raised differently. We have had different experiences.

Yet, when someone does something that we don’t like or goes against how we expect that person to respond based on our own programming, we take it to heart. By doing that, we let it affect us like it’s a personal attack versus getting curious as to understanding where it’s coming from.

When their response was not in alignment with how we wanted them to be or our expectations, we get mad, upset, angry, annoyed, frustrated, or whatever it may be.

What happens? We hurt ourselves.

Now, I want to make it clear, this doesn’t mean you should ever tolerate bad behavior. It’s not ok to be treated poorly by another person.

If someone is mistreating you, you need to call them out on that nonsense. Let them know how you expect to be treated or you remove yourself from the situation. No one has the right, in any relationship, to treat you with lesser value. If they do and you continue to allow it then that is on you.

So you may be wondering, “What can I do to help me from taking everyone so personal all of the time?” That is a great question.

First, and foremost, as I mentioned earlier, it’s important to remember not everyone sees things as you do. Although we would like them too, they don’t and that’s ok.

In addition, it’s understanding that it’s not always about you. The world does not revolve around you, even though you may think that it does on occasion. You have to realize how someone acts, responds, or behaves is based on their internal programming, not yours.

Again, this does not justify anyone constantly being rude, aggressive, or harmful. Therefore, if that is the case, boundaries are needed. The behavior also needs to be addressed in a supportive manner.

Finally… Communication. The lack of communication is one of the major reasons why conflict happens in the first place. How are we supposed to understand one another if we are unable to communicate with each other? This is especially true in a relationship with someone we have feelings for.

Take a step back the next time someone else’s actions fire you up. Approach it differently. Save yourself the pain and suffering assuming it’s an intentional blow with a sole purpose to hurt or offend you.

You can’t choose how people act but you can choose how you respond and what you are willing to accept.

Now it’s your turn.

How does this quote inspire you?

Tell me about an experience where you either took someone’s opinion or reaction to something to heart. What happened? How did it make you feel?

Do you still allow this to happen now or are you able to let go and move on?

Contact me or share your thoughts below in the Comments section.

Let’s get the discussion going.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Together we can become stronger individuals.