It's Not You, It's Them

Offended by what people think of you?

Do you take other’s reactions personally?

Are you cautious at how you act in front of other for fear of judgement?

Take a few minutes to think about how you feel about what other people think of you. Is it something you let sneak under your skin or are you able to shake it off knowing that it is not you and based solely on their view?

I recently read the book, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero and came across this quote. It is one of those quotes, that once you are able to see its validity, you realize that you can begin to shed whatever insecurity you may feel from other people’s judgements.

I think many of us take offense or take it personally when someone, whether a family member, friend, or partner, judges us in a negative manner. We feel like there is something defective with us or that we did something wrong, when in fact, it is the other person who may be dealing with an internal struggle.

Prior to fully understanding and grasping this, I dictated many of my decisions on what other people’s opinions of me were; and I based my judgements or criticisms of others because the internal crap I was dealing with. It is interesting that once I finally realized this, my view on the world completely changed.

I mean, reflecting back on past relationships, even current relationships or friendships, any time the judgmental bug bit me, it was me that was typically facing some inner struggle and not necessarily caused by something someone else did.

Now, I want to just preface by saying that if you are in a toxic relationship then that is a different story and should take the appropriate action to remove yourself from that situation.

What I am getting to the core of here is that people’s judgements, criticisms, and thoughts, including our own, are the internal beliefs, values, and struggles of each individual and has nothing to do directly with how each of us interacts in the world.

Therefore, if someone thinks a certain way about you, positive or negative, it is important not to let that hold any significance in who you are as a person, and how you want to live your life.

It came easy for me to list out all of the things that bothered me about specific people that have come and gone in my life. In actuality, that is exactly what I needed to do to begin my healing from within because what it was that I was wrestling with was my own internal struggle, not that specific person.

Once you can start healing from the inside can you see how your own thoughts of others and thoughts others have of you are simply just that… thoughts of the person carrying them. It does not mean they are right or wrong, valid or false, they just are. You can then begin to live a life that is not dictated by what others think of you but by how you truly want to be.

I suggest you try doing the same and see where you need to do some inner healing. Make your list and let me know what comes up for you.

Now it’s your turn.

How does this quote inspire you?

Tell me about an experience where you allowed what others thought of you as your guidance system to how you led your life. Was it a positive or negative experience for you? How would you handle that same situation today if it came up?

Contact me or share your thoughts below in the Comments section.

Let’s get the discussion going.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Together we can become stronger individuals.