Do you allow your relationships to enhance your life?

On the other hand, have you allowed your relationships to change who you used to be?

And if so, what would happen if that relationship ended today?

Take a hard look at your past and current relationships. Recognize whether you maintained a healthy balance of your individuality or if you completely molded yourself in to this new dynamic; and by doing so, you lost a sense of who you were.

This personal quote came to me as I was in the process of doing my own self-reflection on my past relationships and it is something I believe many people can resonate with. However, people often fall victim to the latter half.

They allow their relationships to dictate who they are and what they do.

Don’t get me wrong, to have someone you love and reciprocates that love is one of life’s greatest gifts. However, if that relationship causes you to lose your own identity in the process is that considered healthy for both you and your partner?

You may challenge me and say, “Anthony, that’s just how it is. You have to sacrifice who you used to be in order to have a relationship.”

Really? I suppose. It’s like that if you allow it. It’s like that if you want it to be.

Now, I’m not talking about going out drinking with your friends every weekend… Bad habits are bad habits whether you are single or not. I’m talking about the distancing of yourself from your passions, hobbies, friends, and values in order to maintain that relationship.

If you are ok and happy then that is completely fine. However, this is for those of you who feel stuck in that relationship and are simply settling. They’ve given up on who they once were because they believe that is the only way to be with another. That is a completely different story.

If that resonates with you, trust me, I know what you are experiencing. I know that story. I know that feeling because I lived it. I’ve been there.

This post is by no means trying to start a relationship breakup epidemic. Far from it. It’s to provide the awareness that your happiness starts with you. It isn’t derived from something else or someone else.

When you are happy with yourself, you can bring that in to a relationship with another. You can then maintain healthy boundaries and a healthy balance of your own identity as an individual and who and your partner evolve in to as a couple.

Choose a relationship that enhances the lives of both you and your partner, not wash away your own personal identity.

Now it’s your turn.

How does this quote inspire you?

Tell me about an experience where you allowed a relationship to consume you to the point where you didn’t even remember who you were prior? Are you still involved in that relationship now? If it ended, were you able to re-discover your identity?

If you are still struggling over a past relationship and need support re-discovering who you are, reach out.

Contact me or share your thoughts below in the Comments section.

Let’s get the discussion going.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Together we can become stronger individuals.

Educate. Engage. Evolve.